Sacrine

Wow. Either i am a completely bitter and jaded person or i really am diabetic. how is it that in movies and songs i'm all about the lovey dovey crap but in my real life i can't stand it. i want my boyfriend to be more romantic but most of the time we both end up laughing at his efforts. when people i know begin spouting off love fests for people it makes me want to barf. don't get me wrong i love a lot of people and i don't mind when people talk about their loved ones it's just certain situations i can't stomach. maybe it's because the people that i hear all these generous loving things about have never expressed that towards me. if a person is at their very core as loving and giving and sweet and kind as i hear they are wouldn't that mean to everyone? or maybe it's just their subtle way of saying "go away! i don't like you". i am a trusting person but when my first impression was good and then the next meetings proved otherwise i am quick to doubt. all though i consider myself a "don't take crap" kind of person....i kinda am, everyone is to a certain extent. you can't tell off your boss without some repercussion and i cry when i'm mad so it often comes off in the opposite effect. i prove erik erikson right in that manner. so if i hear one thing and experience another which one is right? if you feel unwelcome by a welcoming person is it all in your head? maybe i just need to stay away from the candy store to cure my diabetic shock.